There is a Light That Never Goes Out

It was a year.

 A good year.

 But hard.

 Throughout 2014 many of my dearest friends were suffering through much personal upheaval. Divorces. Injuries. Emotional crises.

 I faltered my way through a new situation working away from home for the first time in over 10 years. An experience that has been ego-shattering, enlightening, beautiful and terrible.

 I experienced some frightening and intense harassment that would have been humorous if it wasn't so ugly and scary.

 I dealt with a personal betrayal. Part of a tangled web of destruction whose miseries are still rippling out from the center, knocking over innocent bystanders. It was simultaneously a runaway train whose light you can see in the distance but there is no space to stop, and a hit and run car crash, where one driver walks away and leaves the others to perish in flames.

 But the good FAR outweighed the bad.

 Evansville Mom Prom

Evansville Mom Prom
Evansville Mom Prom

The first time I took my children on a vacation that was not to visit family.

St. Louis
St. Louis

 Disney on Ice. I cried.

Disney On Ice
Disney On Ice

Evansville Speaks, the storytelling group I co-founded.

Evansville Speaks
Evansville Speaks

 Grandma’s 80th birthday

Two Alices
Two Alices
Project Reveal
Project Reveal

My birthday trip to Nashville.

Robert's Western World
Robert's Western World

My new bathroom!

bathroom
bathroom

My first time doing stand up comedy!

stand up kate
stand up kate

 The sudden, surprising and very much welcome appearance of an old, lost friend.

haven and kate 1
haven and kate 1

The introduction of new friends and the deepening of old friendships.

Friends
Friends
Kassy & Jacqueline
Kassy & Jacqueline
Rachael & Kate
Rachael & Kate
Erin's party
Erin's party
Knock Knock, Mofo!
Knock Knock, Mofo!

Getting chosen to bring Listen to Your Mother to Evansville!

listen to your mother
listen to your mother

The Best Christmas Present from the Best Husband.

Survival Kit
Survival Kit

Even though many times I sat in my office crying and feeling lost, I wasn’t. I was following the light. It took me over rocks and into valleys and through some dark tunnels, but I knew I was in the right place, even though it was sometimes a place that was hard and ugly.

Sometimes I required skunk therapy.
Sometimes I required skunk therapy.

On New Years some of my dearest local friends and I gathered on this crisp evening, one of the few true days of winter we have had in Southern Indiana. We ate and imbibed, we talked and laughed and played “Cards Against Humanity.” At midnight we kissed our lovers and clinked our glasses, then threw them into the fire. And then, with a gypsy curse, we said goodbye to a year we were all very ready to say goodbye to.

Then we pulled out a Sky Lantern, shaped like a bishop’s hat. We wrote on it thoughts and desires for the future. Some were very specific. “A new job. A new home. The life I want.”

Some were more obscure. The word “Clarity.” Other words I no longer remember, and it hardly matters, because instead of rising slowly towards the sky the lantern caught fire, and we whooped and laughed and watched it burn in the street, and then stomped it out and threw it in the fire pit.

Impermenance
Impermenance

I don’t know what 2015 brings. As much as I hope to go into it with clear eyes, I might not have the ability to focus until it’s behind me.  What I do know is that whatever happens, I am surrounded by friends. That there is a light ahead and it’s guiding me along....even if its just a sky lantern that has burst into flames.