Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven

Lighten my darkness

Pour over me your holyness

For you are holy

Breath of Heaven by Chris Eaton

Yesterday was a dark, dark day. No matter why, the reasons don’t matter. But I was not feeling Christmas, and it broke my heart, because this is my favorite season. My daughter, bless her heart, who is only two and a half, asked me not to cry about six times.

I began to think about all the people I know who have given up Christmas. How they view the stress that goes along with decorations, baking, family plans, and of course, the inevitable shopping. I don’t know that I had ever felt the darkness that can loom over this season so clearly before, and I worried that they were right, and all these years I have been chasing a vapor.

But then I remembered a young girl, heavy with child, on a donkey, riding to an unknown city, knowing that any day she would be shouldered with the responsibility of raising a KING, while she had no chance of having the slightest idea how to do so. Fear, stress, pain…all these emotions must have loomed in the days before the first Christmas.

With that, I began to feel fortunate. All this stress is leading to SOMETHING. It is leading to embraces with my family, lit up faces, delicious food shared with loved ones, singing and smiling. It is leading to days of worship, of song, of a special kind of holy wonderment that is especially prevalent during the season. It is leading to a NEW YEAR, where I will welcome my own little bundle of possibilities.

I cherish the idea that our stress is a pale reflection of what Mary was dealing with in those last days, and how it must have melted away as the night sky shimmered with a star of unusual magnitude, a heavenly choir greeting the child, and unexpected guests arrived to worship.