I Won't Do That

  Let's make it clear right now...Mammacake land is a Judgement-Free Zone. At least it wants to be very badly. After being at this gig for over 8 years all I do is examine my own heart and motives and say that I am doing my best, and I am going to give the benefit of the doubt that you all are doing the same.  Parenting is some tough business. Some of us are better equipped than others. I can think of a hundred ways I am poorly equipped for my job, but I know that I am lucky to get it just the same, and I fight daily to get better at it.

Can we all agree to support each other? Can we trust our friends and loved ones enough to say "I believe that you made your parenting decisions based on love, on the understanding you have of your child and of yourself?" And if people are making blatantly poor decisions that will negatively impact their child...can we come to these people in love and say "Do you need help? What can I do to lighten your load?" Because I am 100% that the last things we parents need is MORE judgement, MORE guilt.

I'm an official mommy wars drop-out. I don't think I was ever a recruit to begin with, but I did have positions that I felt passionate about. Still do. But I've been a mom long enough to understand that this world is full of shades of grey, that people have to make their own decisions based on the life they live, the tools they have received, and the resources that are available to them. It's NOT the same for everyone.

I am passionate about information. I believe in sharing good information whenever possible. I like to post news stories that I find interesting, and blogs that touch my heart or make me laugh. Me posting something is not necessarily an endorsement of the ideas, or the author. I post things for informations sake, for dialogue. I like to get people's opinions, provided that we dialogue respectfully.

I can't stomach tearing other people down. I've been gifted a beautiful life that I don't deserve, and my character is as fractured and flawed as can be. I know this, and because I have accepted my own fragility, I can also accept it in others.  I have no desire to rip others to shreds in order to build myself up. It's a facade...and as fragile as a cobweb. Love builds up. Kindness. Respect. Openness. These are fruits that can only bring forth good things.

Friends, when you see another person who is a parent, you should be seeing an ALLY. Someone who is entrusted with the very most difficult job in this world. Someone entrusted with a person in their care EVERY bit as precious as the ones in your own care. For the love of humanity, let us find peace first with our neighbors. Our friends and acquaintances. The lady at the grocery store whose child is misbehaving. The single father whose kids are running wild. Even the perfect family with the perfect kids. They are not our enemies.

If you use disposable diapers, guess what? People who use cloth are not your enemies. If you breast-feed, moms who use formula are not your enemies. Whatever decisions you make about birth, school, discipline, nutrition,  work ethic, etc WHATEVER...they are all going to be different, because each person is an individual. And it will only divide humans if you allow it to.

Right now, let's make it clear. I have no desire to judge you. Please don't judge me. Love me. Listen to me. Dialog with me. Respectfully. But don't tear me down. Because we are all in this together, working towards one goal.

Let's call a truce in the mommy wars.